Miranda Hobbs did it in Sex and The City. So did Susan Meyer in Desperate Housewives and of course, Jules Cobb in Cougar Town. These TV single moms managed to date, and even made it look easy. But those of us single moms in the real world know that life can be challenging when trying to juggle your kids, job, friends, errands, workouts, and meeting the love of your life. Here are 7 tips for how to successfully date as a single mom:
- Use your lunch hour for dates. The kids are in school, you’re already dressed up (for work) and an hour is a perfect length of time to determine whether or not you want to go on a second date with someone. Plus it’s a no pressure situation where you don’t have to worry about that good night kiss!
- Don’t talk about how hard it is being a single mom. I get it. It isn’t easy. But, your date doesn’t want to hear how crazy busy you are. Everyone’s busy. You’re not alone. Remember that being a single mom takes a strong, courageous woman, and that’s you!
- Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to just be you. Your attitude should be, ‘This is me and if he likes it, great. If not, that’s OK too.’ This is the attitude that will make the right guy fall in love with you!
- Don’t badmouth past relationships. No one wants to hear about what a jerk your last boyfriend was, how he cheated on you, or how you can’t stand to be in the same room with your ex-husband. Those conversations make a person appear angry and bitter: two very unattractive qualities. Therapy or your friends and family are great sources for venting—not your dates.
- Limit alcohol intake. I like to give myself a one-drink rule when dating someone new. It’s just enough to take the edge off, but not enough to make a person sloppy. Excessive drinking can lead to bad decisions and saying things you wouldn’t say if you were sober. Our singles survey also show that having a date that drinks too much on the first date is a huge turnoff.
- Limit how much you talk about your kids. Most single moms I know are very proud of their children and consider them the biggest part of their lives. On a first date, leave your kids at home and focus on learning about your date and letting him learn what you’re all about as a woman-not just as a mom.
- Set the right expectations! If you make your expectations all about meeting new, fun people who can enrich your life, you are less likely to feel stressed. Have fun. Smile. After all… It’s Just Lunch!
by Jackie Pilossoph
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